Monday, August 28, 2006

Toast in Pajamas


I swiped a few jpegs of me toasting Yancey and his bride off of some personal websites. I looked like an idiot, especially next to the bride in her classy bride-outfit. You should see the ones I didn't post! In one, I had a scrunched-up face so I must have been talking about the time Yancey-vomit was washing over me during a scuba incident off San Diego.

Here is the start of the speech that I made. I didn't finish writing it, so it ends abruptly. I winged it during the actual speech, suddenly coming to the end of my notes and blathering something about a toast and many long years together. I'm not going to post the whole thing here on the main page, so click on "Comments" if you want to read the rest.

I didn't wear the bathrobe during the actual ceremony, so don't worry, Mom.

I called up Yancey the other day in a panic.

"Yancey, Me being in this wedding is a disaster. The shoes don't fit, I'm the Best Man and still not male, and the dress is messed up. It was too big, so the tailor took it in. Then it was too small. So he fixed it, but then he ironed it. And he used steam, and now there's red blotches all over the seams.

"Can I get out of showing up? What if I pretend I broke my leg?"

"Scott already tried that one. It didn't work for him either," he said. "And anyway, it doesn't matter what you wear, as long as you show up. You can wear your pajamas for all I care."

6 comments:

Marie said...

I called up Yancey the other day in a panic.

"Yancey, me being in this wedding is a disaster. The shoes don't fit, I'm the Best Man and still not male, and the dress is messed up. It was too big, so the tailor took it in. Then it was too small. So he fixed it, but then he ironed it. And he used steam, and now there's red blotches all over the seams.

"Can I get out of showing up? What if I pretend I broke my leg?"

"Scott already tried that one. It didn't work for him either," he said. "And anyway, it doesn't matter what you wear, as long as you show up. You can wear your pajamas for all I care."

And that's the kind of guy Yancey is. He is completely accepting, adventurous, has a great sense of humor, has friends from all different walks of life, and his other wife is a dog. Yancey is so flexible that I can call him up with the kookiest request, and instead of telling me I'm crazy, he says "Okay."

Like the time I called him up and said, "Hey, you wanna go to Egypt?"

"Okay."

Or the time I said, "Meet me in Belize during rainy season."

"Okay."

Or my favorite, the time he agreed to go to China with me. I called him a week later and said "for an extra $600, we can also go to Mongolia."

"Okay."

And then he got stuck in Mongolia an extra week after visa regulations changed, and you know what he said?

"Okay."

And when other travelers challenged Yancey to a fried-bug eating contest in China, not only did he say okay but he ate three fried bugs—without the aid of alcohol.

Yancey is the kind of guy who will not only drink whatever strange brew is placed in front of him in a home in Mongolia, he'll take a look at my horrified face and gulp down mine as well. He is there for his friends, always, and has a wonderful sense of humor. He actually jumped into the ocean and rescued me from a scuba diving accident once, even though he was seasick… and the Pacific Ocean was washing Yancey vomit over me.

Yancey met Andrea at Scholastic, as most of you probably know. And he pretended for ages that nothing was happening, because Yancey is not a gossip. He (that's where I ran out of time and quit writing it, but said something about it being easy to eat fried bugs but takes great courage to commit to another person.)

Amanda Castleman said...

I dunno, Marie. I've tried the committment thing – with mixed success. But fried bugs are truly a hurdle to the pious vegetarian crowd... Ax.

Marie said...

Ax might have a point. I have allegedly conquered my fear-of-commitment after last years face-to-face experience with it, but you couldn't pay me to eat fried bugs.

Okay, you could pay me, but you'd have to pay me a lot. I wouldn't just do it on a dare like Yancey and Turbo.

Sara Kocher said...

I've been married for 9 years as of next month and I absolutely refuse to even think about eating the cricket dish at Typhoon (restaurant in Santa Monica).

For the amount of money someone would have to pay me to purposely eat a bug, they could probably buy a house. Or at least a condo.

I like your half-speech very much, bathrobe and all. The speeches at our wedding were nice and all, but I can't remember the content of a single one of them. Hope Andrea and Yancy appreciated having a good and very funny one.

Ed Ward said...

But boy, is that guitarist gal giving you the mal'occhio in that second shot!

PaulaB said...

Marie!
ok so u must have dust in ur eyes cause I think u look great!
In both pics!
and great toast!!!!! I bet it was hilarious and touching all rolled into one!
really the self-effacing stuff needs to stop.
all of the wedding photos of you look really great!!!
and congrats on selling out the Wild Dik-Dik...even if B&N only had 2 copies! that's way cool.
I'm not eating fried bugs....no matter what you pay me ok ok who am i kidding - i'd try....but I need a shot of something as a chaser - oye! I'd never make it on Fear Factor.
cheers!!
Paula