Here's what has gone wrong recently:
-the shoes don't fit
-my back is broken out (dress is low-slung sleeveless)
-the dress was too big
-once altered, the dress was too small
-when altered again, tailor ironed dress, and now there are red blotches all over the seams. Currently at cleaners
-cannot locate back-up dress, the one I wore on QE2
-and last, I am not male.