Saturday, December 22, 2007

As Is

I'm going out to Joe's Pub tonight, so I thought I'd dress in something nice.*

After half an hour of changing clothes, I had to conclude that while it was a commendable goal, I don't actually own any nice clothes. Seven years of steady set changes across who-knows-how-many countries has resulted in one style: Frumpy modest.

Those of you who have known me a long time are thinking "Nonsense! You have lots of clothes. What about that happening sperm-print dress you wore to your 30th birthday party on the Frying Pan?"

Unfortunately, those stylish velvety dresses fit a younger woman, both in attitude and size. And whoa, are those skirts short! I bought my party dresses during the era of Ally McBeal. At 41, I am no longer so keen to bare my thighs in public.

After surveying myself in long skirts, short skirts, boots, sweaters, and tights, I dejectedly changed into jeans. Sigh. If I were the sort of person to post an online personal, it would go something like this:

AS-IS. SWF, 41, grumpy, smart-ass, silly, bizarrely out of touch with pop-culture items from large stretches of time between 2001-2008, smart but only vaguely interested in career or social status, offers a unique mix of fear-of-commitment laced with fear-of-abandonment. "What are YOU still doing here? WAIT, DON'T GO!" Past relationship achievements include coining the phrase "Who put the we in weekend."

*Disclosure: A cute guy recently asked me if all I ever wore was jeans.


Steve Buccellato said...

"If I were the sort of person to post an online personal..."

Um. In a way, you just did.

Marie Javins said...

Hey, wait!! NOT my intention! Not at all.

Don Hudson said...

In my opinion, A simple black skirt and combat boots fits any occasion.

Amanda Castleman said...

C'mon Steve, she probably just wanted to mention the cute guy and her brilliant "Are you still here? DON'T LEAVE" line... no sneaky online personals are being posted here!

Amanda Castleman said...

Oh yeah, awesome "who put the we in weekend" phrase too.

Maybe the follow-up to Dik-Dik is "Dating for the Woo-woo-phobic?"