Friday, June 20, 2008

Baby Steps

The Goal: Reassimilation into my home society after too many fits and starts abroad, after too many years of alienation and a listless attitude towards reintegration. I'm just leaving soon, why bother?

I have to get back into the groove here, to commit to staying home and seizing back the life I lost over the past 8 years of bouncing around the globe. This much we know. This much we've discussed here.

I made some goals. I am, after all, first and foremost a problem-solver who has little patience with results that are not immediate.

1) Go to yoga and the gym more often. This temporarily wards off any uncertainty that creeps in.

2) Go to anything I am invited to. Go alone to interesting public events if I'm not invited to anything. Talk to strangers when I am at events. (Grade: Needs improvement. Seldom being home for 8 years does not result in large numbers of social invites.)

3) Stop dressing to be invisible. It's okay if I'm noticed here. I'm not trying to melt into the background as I would on the streets of Cairo or Nairobi.

I've made progress on all of these over the last few weeks. #3 has been relentless, though, as I have to reinvent my wardrobe every morning.

I used to relish this, back in the early 90s at Marvel. I loved to wake up in the morning and put together red Elvis-print leggings and a purple shirt. It probably looked as awful as it sounds, now that I think about it. Especially since I had flat pointy black shoes with bat-buckles. (Yeesh!) But I felt good making up something new each day, and this gave me a positive attitude.

Here's how I did this week. But Thursday, I was pretty sick of it. But I persevered.

Maybe next time, I'll advance to shorter skirts.


Don said...

I find this very confusing. You are "seizing back the life I lost".
Well, I thought you and other travellers were volunteers in leaving "normal" daily life mid-career? I thought youz bought the idea were running towards something "better." That you had escaped the grind that millions schlep through day after grey day. That others were losers for their choices. Do I now sense some remourse(?). Is it ""the change?""

Nancy Matson said...

Looking good! Like the bright colors in the first two outfits.

Gotta get someone to nominate you for one of those makeover shows so you can get a free new wardrobe in exchange for low level public humiliation. The Middle East back to New York angle might work pretty well.

Marie Javins said...

Don, do you sense remorse? Where the heck have you been for the past three years? :) I have been paralyzed by remorse.

Nancy, that's a great idea. I'd go in for humiliation to get off this scary "little more every day" thing and go in for the fast track.

Don said...

Well, being a guy, sensitivity to these things isn't my strong suit. Therefore, I apologize for not "getting it". I merely seek to understand, not to cause anyone harm in any way.
However, many would envy your choices and past freedom. Also, particularly in TV travel shows the backpack "adventurer" seems so smug and superior that they imply the rest of us are idiots for not having chosen to live on a beach in Bali or India for $1 per day. I guess no paths can be followed without paying a toll. Maybe that's one of God's little jokes on us. Peace.

Matt Hollingsworth said...

It's creepy to cut your head off in the photos like that.

Marie Javins said...

Matt, you're right. I hadn't even thought about that. Just thought, "Don't feel like brushing my hair."

Marie Javins said...

Adventuring is loads of fun, but there is a price that is paid by those who stay away too long.

Ain't cheap, either.

chummy's mum said...

That skirt length is perfect on you, very chic. You are in great shape to go shorter but I think the knee skimming length is gorgeous on you!
I bet you'd look smashing in a slim pencil skirt. :)

Marie Javins said...

Thanks babyphat523, but I don't think I could pull off a slim pencil skirt. You see, I have a large ass.

melanie ajumma said...

People who have to moved to other countries would be jealous to have such wardrobe choices. And by people in other countries, I mean me.

chummy's mum said...

All the better to show off your lovely curves!! Go for it!