Saturday, May 30, 2020

Not Cool, FedEx

I shipped my old Apple monitor FedEx Ground from Burbank to myself in Jersey City. I got a newer (used) Apple Monitor to use in my home office in California, now that I have to take the term "home office" seriously, so I thought it would be nice to upgrade my home office in my Jersey City house too.

I shipped the screen in one narrow box on May 15 with signature required, because it was scheduled the arrive the same day I would, and I wanted to be sure I was there before they left it.

I sent the stand in a bulky square box on 5/16, knowing it would start moving on Monday 5/18 for arrival 5/22. I didn't do signature required since I for sure would be there by 5/22.

You can probably see where this is going.

The screen showed up on Wednesday 5/27. Which is 6 days late, obviously, but okay, the world is in strange times. Kinda super-late, but just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and move on.

The other box apparently appeared during the 20 minutes I was out on Friday 5/29, and the driver didn't leave it. I've barely been out of the house the whole time I've been here, because pandemic. I went to the hardware store once. I did a curbside (walking) pickup at Bed Bath and Beyond once, and because ShopRite is right there, I stopped in for some veggies. It's not like I'm out at the mall, y'know?

I called FedEx and got irate at some poor guy in India. He did some calling and promised me they'd make an exception and bring me my Ground box on Saturday.

I called again later in the day to remind some other poor guy. Again, reassured.

This morning, of course I got a text that my package had been delayed to Monday.

I'm supposed to be flying back today, to the same place where I put the damn box into the mail in the first place.

I called and this time, a woman had to listen to me for a while, and she offered to return the box to me in California.

NNOOOOoooooooOOOOo! Please don't help. What the hell am I going to do with a CinemaDisplay stand in Burbank?

"The package is scheduled for Monday."

"I will change my flight. But how can I know it will arrive on Monday? Every day I am told it will arrive tomorrow, and it never arrives."

(Worse, it's on the truck and "out for delivery" every day. My FedEx app is taunting me. This is some kind of gag I don't understand.)

I pretended to believe her, because what else can I do? She obviously would bring me my package if she were in Jersey City instead of India, because she seemed very nice.

I angrily went to Twitter so I could humiliate FedEx in public, because I hear that sometimes works, and that's where I learned a FedEx truck killed a guy in St. Louis last night, and yeah, maybe I'll just wait.

No comments: