Thursday, February 14, 2013


Man, you won't hear me complaining today.

There have been years where I felt sorry for myself for not having plans for Valentine's Day, but my current quip is that it's worse to have plans. There's a lot of build-up, a lot of uncertainty, and it's not that easy to create a romantic situation just because you're supposed to.

If anything, I'd say V.D. is awkward.

Last year, Prince (Not-Very) Charming told me a few weeks a head of time about how great he was with gifts, how one year he'd taken his then-GF for a surprise ride on a small plane.

I stared aghast...I'd been thinking of getting him something small. You know, a wallet or a shirt. Suddenly, I was learning that a wallet or shirt wouldn't be anywhere near enough.

I raced around, searching for something I could afford and that was unique. I didn't do well, until finally I bought two theater tickets. Two expensive tickets.

And when he only had flowers—which are horribly awkward for carrying around all night—and looked like the most uncomfortable man in the world carrying them, I felt like an idiot for blowing all that money on tickets.

Ultimately, this was all just evidence of things I was going to shortly learn—that Prince (Not-Very) Charming was mostly bluster and talk, that for every amazing thing he claimed to have done, there were hundreds and hundreds of things he'd forgotten about or not bothered to do or just thought about doing, that anything I did was wrong and anything he did was quite similar to something a god might do, that soon we'd have his birthday which he wanted to dramatically celebrate by spending up to a thousand dollars until he didn't plan anything at all...ultimately, V.D. was just a clue. A clue for me, and a reminder that I should really trust my gut.

Which had spent over a year telling me "Something ain't right with that guy" before I started ignoring it.

Today, I am lucky. I can work on the new site with Kuwait and the Bristol company, see Denise for coffee, see my accountant to make sense of my dozens of 1099s and write-offs.

And I can relax. Because I don't have to meet any expectations this evening. None at all.

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