Winter Chill

All the news about the cold front in the Northeast reminded me of how I used to have an old Volvo with a manual choke.

Two old Volvos with manual chokes, actually. Not at the same time.

The thing about a manual choke and brutal cold is your car then has a contest on every start-up. That contest is between your car's battery and your car's carburetor. You hope to get the air/fuel mixture right with the knob that controls the choke before the battery gets tired of trying to start the car.

This is easy in summer, really hard when it's below freezing.

I used to get around running the battery down every time by spraying a little starter fluid into the carburetor. But one spray too many and then there would be a puddle of fuel waiting for the spark. Boom, you have a fire.

I frequently had fires in my carburetor.

That is why I kept an old quilt in the car, for putting out fires in the carburetor. It looked way more dramatic than it actually was, and I remember going to fetch my car once from the impound yard on the Hudson after having parked illegally in Manhattan. There was no sign, not my fault.


I went to get my car from the West Side impound yard, and it wouldn't start, so I sprayed the carburetor. This led to a fire and a lot of freaked-out people.

"Get away from the car!"

I stood back.

One of the city employees ran over with a fire extinguisher. He sprayed my car.

But the fire extinguisher was expired. Only a puff came out of it.

I walked to the trunk, got the quilt, walked to the front of the car, put the fire out, put the quilt back in the trunk, closed the trunk and the hood, got in, and drove the Volvo away.

In the rear-view mirror, I could see the two men standing there, stunned.

Good times.