Big Purchase

Jan 23

I bought a new mattress for my Burbank condo because that IKEA foam thing was just a lump. I tried pretty much every mattress in the United States last year and then I did nothing for a while because well, the IKEA one was okay, just not great.

So finally I got a mattress and it's pretty comfy and then I remembered how there is this thing where mattress stores try to sell you a mattress protector and I thought that's ridiculous, that's what sheets are for, and then I searched "do I need a mattress protector" and wow, I did not need to go down that internet rabbit hole.

It does kind of feel like a scam but you know, maybe I'll sublet to someone who drinks red wine in bed or something. Or one day I'll dog-sit and the dog will hate me and poop on my bed. And it'll void the warranty because the dog poop will leave a stain. That's so stupid, like if I send the mattress back, the mattress company actually sells it to someone else, but okay, fine, it'll void the warranty. I guess I have to buy a damn mattress protector.

Jan 27

Good news. I signed an executive order to buy a mattress protector, so now the world is saved from the perilous threat of stray dog poop.