Tuesday, January 07, 2020

Movie Reviews

Here's my review of Cats, which I attended last night with some friends from work.

Note the theater was PACKED. This is not an opening weekend. It's not the Chinese Theater. It's a multiplex in Burbank on a Tuesday night. We struggled to find four seats together.


Jamie, is that the Taylor Swift-cat? (He says no, it's the ballerina, and this is the first time I notice he brought a flask. It comes out more and more as the movie progresses.)

Is that a fat joke? Is that another fat joke? I didn't know fat jokes were a big part of Cats.


(At this point, I notice Andrea has her hands frozen in front of her mouth, which is slightly ajar.)

What the hell is going on here? How many people from major studios and production companies were part of this, and yet no one stopped it?


I can't remember the last time I've enjoyed a movie so much.

Every time Ian McKellen-cat looks at the camera, we all snicker. I expect him to roar "You shall not pass." Spoiler: He doesn't.

Judi Dench-cat is completely bizarre. What is she doing in this movie? Did she lose a bet? How can she play it so straight? Why would a cat need a fur coat?

What are any of these stars doing in this movie?

Oh. Wait. All the dark cats are either bad or down-on-their-luck.

Is this a white savior cat movie?

Jamie pulls out the flask again.

For some reason, some cats have clothes and some run around naked. Like Cheetah, I say. My colleagues crack up. Naked Cheetah is a real thing. Or a comics real thing.

Idris Elba wears clothes for most of the film, and then when he shows up in nothing but black fur, the audience gasps. Did we just see Idris Elba naked??

We sit in silence to the end of the credits. Rob always likes to sit to the end. I think this time it's because he is stunned and can't move.

Jamie says he is impressed by the sheer audacity of this movie. I don't think our home studio had the audacity to put naked Cheetah on-screen this year, and we are likely the better for it.

"What's a Jellicle?" I ask.

"They literally explained that in the first five minutes, Marie." Andrea is always the one digging into story.

Cats really went for it. No one is sure what "it" is, but these people would never have backed down from naked Cheetah.

(Disclaimer: I find naked Cheetah revolting. At least Tigra wears a swimsuit. Of course, cats don't go to the beach, so Cheetah is probably more realistic than Tigra. Would Taylor Swift-cat go to the beach, I wonder.)

"Five times," yells one attendee. "I've seen this five times!"

Once was enough for me, but then, I don't partake of California's famed edibles.


robert said...

Interesting your theater was full, when I saw it (Dallas), there were about 15 people in 5 groups. I think two groups left.

If you sat in silence and didn't quietly sing along, you're not the audience for the movie. :)

I thought the changes from the play to create more of a story line were mostly well done. I wasn't thrilled with some of the song/character interpretations, but theater performances vary too.

The actress who played Victoria was amazing. I was concerned about making Old Deuteronomy female, but Judy Dench pulled it off.

Personally, I thought it was good. Not great, but good. I grew up on the play and music though. I didn't care about the stars, I went for CATS.

I may even see it again!

William Kendall said...

Your theatre must have been the one doing business for the movie, because it bombed everywhere else.

As it's a musical to begin with, I would never watch it.