Oopsy Part 2

I had all my old, wet, lime-encrusted faucet parts in pieces, sealed into Zip-Loc bags. I held them up now, comparing them to the pieces on display in the plumbing aisle at the Holland Tunnel Home Depot.

That looks right. But I've been fooled before. Another lesson learned from Turbo: Don't rush. Study the display at Home Depot. Piece it all together in your head. Yeah, that's got to be the part.

A Home Depot employee wandered by, a tall, thin man, fiftiesh, with white hair and a matching moustache. I looked hopefully at him but he stared straight ahead and refused to meet my eyes. He made a beeline for a male shopper down the aisle. Eh?

I went back to my studies, and a younger Home Depot employee approached me. "How can I help you?"

"I'm trying to figure out if these are the right parts."

He held them up. "Yes, but let's make sure." He pulled out a box cutter, opened the package, and peered at the connecters. He even took my foul old pieces out of the Zip-Loc and made sure they fit. The white-haired man approached us. He looked at the other employee, not at me.

"They let you out of Electric, did they? Those parts are right." He picked up the metal sleeve.

"This is the key. The lock with this is the key to making it all fit together."

"Yeah?"

Weird. Mr. White-Hair was addressing me, but through a third party. The young guy from Electric nodded patiently. I thanked him, self checked-out (totally forgetting I also needed a new toolbox), and drove home.

It all fit together beautifully. I used my wrench to tighten everything and turned on the water.

And proceeded to flood the bathroom with jetting water. I rushed to turn off the water. As I threw every towel in the house down on the floor, I found the pieces, blasted all over.


I went back to Home Depot and this time bought new springs, new rubber washers, an O-ring, and a toolbox. I put it all together slightly differently this time. The new springs created a tension that hadn't existed before. The sleeve locked it all together.

I turned the water back on. I closed the shower curtain this time-duh-and gently turned on the faucet.

Success.