The Goal: Reassimilation into my home society after too many fits and starts abroad, after too many years of alienation and a listless attitude towards reintegration. I'm just leaving soon, why bother?
I have to get back into the groove here, to commit to staying home and seizing back the life I lost over the past 8 years of bouncing around the globe. This much we know. This much we've discussed here.
I made some goals. I am, after all, first and foremost a problem-solver who has little patience with results that are not immediate.
1) Go to yoga and the gym more often. This temporarily wards off any uncertainty that creeps in.
2) Go to anything I am invited to. Go alone to interesting public events if I'm not invited to anything. Talk to strangers when I am at events. (Grade: Needs improvement. Seldom being home for 8 years does not result in large numbers of social invites.)
3) Stop dressing to be invisible. It's okay if I'm noticed here. I'm not trying to melt into the background as I would on the streets of Cairo or Nairobi.
I've made progress on all of these over the last few weeks. #3 has been relentless, though, as I have to reinvent my wardrobe every morning.
I used to relish this, back in the early 90s at Marvel. I loved to wake up in the morning and put together red Elvis-print leggings and a purple shirt. It probably looked as awful as it sounds, now that I think about it. Especially since I had flat pointy black shoes with bat-buckles. (Yeesh!) But I felt good making up something new each day, and this gave me a positive attitude.
Here's how I did this week. But Thursday, I was pretty sick of it. But I persevered.
Maybe next time, I'll advance to shorter skirts.