My $600 tax rebate is here! Woo-hoo!
If I were a good citizen, I would spend it patriotically and with abandon, on a flat-screen TV or new paint for Henry the Ford Taurus. The plan is for us 'mericans to be encouraged to spend, not to save.
Well, I'm spending it, but it's not helping the anemic economy. I'm going to the Caribbean. Or maybe Bermuda. I'd go to Suchitoto, El Salvador, which sounds interesting but no, in this case, it is utter boredom I seek. A resort may well be the answer.
"Huh?" I hear you and understand. But consider this:
I have this thing called a day job. A start-up day job in a labor-intensive industry. Got an ad that isn't quite the right size for the Indian licensor? Someone should extend the edges in Photoshop. Uh-oh, that someone is me. An Indonesian magazine editor has an error on our iDisk? Well, someone grab the files and upload them again! (Oops, that's me too.) And someone has to read scripts, proofread newspaper stories, and do normal editor work too (like threaten freelancers who better quit reading this and get back to work). It eats up most of my waking hours.
But I have this book proposal that I've been working on for months. And it's almost done. I just need a few days without distractions.
Somehow, that never happens.
My scheme is to use this tax rebate to go for a long weekend to somewhere dull. Somewhere maybe where I have to walk to a hotspot to get online (so no one from work can find me). Somewhere without anyone I know.
It so happens that I despise the beach. This is weird, yes. Most people love the beach. I find it boring, hot, and sandy. Resorts generally feature beaches. I could do some laps in the resort pool in the morning, then get to work. Cuz there's nothing else to do but go to the beach.
A noble goal, this finishing the book proposal.
But what if something more sinister is boiling unspoken, deep within Marie-gut? Could I crave a passport stamp to put Edward Readicker-Henderson in his cheeky place? Am I jealous of C's freelance international lifestyle, something I myself had for half a decade? Haven't I already proven that I am capable of solo travel (just a bit)? Couldn't I just go to some cabin in the Poconos and be REALLY bored?
We'll see. Right now, the entire Caribbean is this mind-boggling blur to me, and I'm overwhelmed with isolating the right destination. Bring on the ideas, but remember, the more social or interesting the place sounds, the less point there would be in going there.
And if it's domestic, forget it. Not that I care, of course.
The question, then, is this:
What's the most boring place you've ever been to?