Thursday, March 22, 2007

Usually, We Just Argue About the Fare

"Where you from?" The taxi driver wanted to chat. Tough. I didn't feel like it.

"Al-Kuwait," I said.

His eyes grew big. "No, your country."

"Kuwait."

After a minute of contemplating this, he asked again.

"Australia, Italy, America... where are you from?"

"Passport says America."

"Married?

"Yes."

"Egyptian?"

"No. Europe." (Obviously a lie, but it's best to be "married" in cases like these.)

"Egyptians really good. Misr men best. Very strong. No Europe."

"Okay. Whatever."

"I love you."

"La. No, you don't. You love your wife."

"Your girlfriend Egyptian?"

"No, a girl is a female."

"Ha ha, okay, boyfriend. You have Egyptian boyfriend?"

"No. Married."

"I love you."

"La. No."

"I love you. What time?"

"It's one."

"No, I mean hotel. I love you. What time?"

I was pretending I didn't know what he was talking about, hoping to get as close to the office as possible before the moment came when I obviously had to flee.

"No hotel."

"Apartment?"

"I have an apartment."

"How old?"

"Forty."

"I am 26. Very strong. Forty good. I love you. What time?" He made some breathy, panting noises.

"It's one."

"No, I mean..." He made an obscene motion with his finger. "I love you."

"La. You love your wife."

"Misr men very good. I love you, I love you, I love you."

I spotted a policeman up ahead.

"Stop."

He ignored me, drove on.

"I love you at hotel at what time? I f**k you."

That was enough. He slowed the taxi long enough to let another car by in an intersection. I snarled at him that he was disgusting, got out, and walked the rest of the way.

"Sorry," the taxi driver called after me.

5 comments:

Marie said...

Today's taxi driver was completely straightforward and pleasant. He took me exactly where I wanted to go and said nothing untoward. He didn't even smoke. He said "Have a nice day" when I got out.

I paid him double.

Marc Siry said...

Holy canoli! I get annoyed when a cab driver in NYC wants to talk about the Yankees!

Marie: This is more evidence that you would clean up writing that book (possibly under a psuedonym) we discussed a few years back.

Nice on the positive reinforcement for the second cabbie - now all you have to hope is that there is a 'Misr Man' message board somewhere that they both subscribe to.

Marie said...

We're in luck. Ours for the taking.
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Don Hudson said...

I think I would have punched the guy. Does that make me a bully?

Marie said...

Nah, most of the men I know here had the same reaction.